The Pro Ana Lifestyle

Pro Ana Myths

2008-03-25T04:06:00.000-07:00

Myth: Pro-Ana prays to anorexia.

Reality: There is reference to a religion of sorts that exsists on pro-ana websites, with several referrals of the name "Ana" mentioned. But people, mainly the media and anti's get confused and spread the misinformation that Ana refers to anorexia. The name Ana in the religious conotation actually is the full name Anamadim, and not some goddess named anorexia. The orgin of Anamadim was the creation of a site by the name of Underground Grotto, where there is even a summoning spell to invoke Anamadim. However there is an extremely slim (no pun intended) minority of those on pro-ana sites that partake in this religious style activity. This also has nothing to do with the letters, creeds, commandments, ect. either (see below for that information). It has nothing to do with the huge majority of pro-ana.

Myth: The entire pro-ana religion.

Reality: The pro-ana religion seen on many pro-ana sites was never created by any pro-ana site at all. All the creeds, letters, comandments are all made by professional psychologists in an attempt to make the mindset of the anorexic views be seen through their eyes. This was seen as a powerful message, and to those who are anorexic and wanting to go further into it, seen these messages as motivation instead of the reverse that it was intended to be. It's funny how those that hate pro-ana unwittingly gave it a religion isn't it? Not too many want that be known, and no wonder. Big opps eh? Just so you know, that is their writings if you ever see and/or use it.

Myth: Tips and tricks

Reality: Yeah, you may be on the pro-ed sites looking for some new way to hide something, do it better or if there is something better than what your doing now. But if your parents, relatives, loved ones, co-workers or whoever you are trying to hide it from are thinking you have an eating disorder ... guess what? They are on the same sites you are on reading the same tips and tricks. They may help for a little while, but sooner or later (or already) the one you are hiding it from are going to find out. The sites are real easy to find, but it makes the "T's" that much more in-effective. As they say, you can run but you can't hide.

Myth: Pro-Ana is Pro Death

Reality: If you ever been on a pro-ana forum before, you will notice that alot of the long term members are of a normal to ever so slightly below normal weight range. There is very few long termers that are in the medical anorexic weight range. So true they are thin, but in reality terms, they are in fact normal. In fact many of the extreme thin don't frequent pro-ed forums at all, they are on support forums instead. Of those that get to an extreme level who post pics and weights, are replied back with messages of concern and pleas for them to take care of themselves and to not loose any more weight. Now you have to actually be ON the forums to know this, but those who cry out the evils do not do very good research into what they are talking about. You could say that pro-ana is alot more pro-support leaning than it lets on too.

Myth: Pro-Ana is teaching others to become anorexic

Reality: You cannot "become" anorexic, it is not something you choose like a diet, anorexia chooses you and in the lottery of anorexia winning is loosing more than you know. It's outside factors in your own enviornment that make one eating disordered, not text and pictures on a website. To those that think you can become "ana" ... it won't happen. You may skip a few meals, fast for a few days but that does not make you anorexic at all. Much like a drag queen, you can look act talk walk and sing every bit like Cher ... but you are not Cher. It's simple as that.

Myth: Pro-Ana encourages you to stay anorexic

Reality: This is the touchy one. We don't encourage you to stay anorexic, but this is the biggest way in which we differ from the professional and pro-recovery sites. Instead of treating a disorder itself, pro-ana treats the person. We get to know the individual, what makes them laugh, smile, cry and scared to see what their world is like through their eyes. See, like I said before, eating disorders are a deep rooted problem and there is no point trying to get rid of something that will just come back again instantly. To get rid of this, one must get to the main root and work from there. Once the root is gone, the consequense of eating disorders are that much easier to recover from ... and the process will be a lasting one. This is why the most important part of any ed forum is the journal area.

ED plateau

2008-03-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

A plateau is a phase during weight-loss when you seem to maintain your weight even if your caloric intake/output haven't changed. your body is probably resisting weight loss because it's being pushed too far. Your metabolism could be slowing down because you're not eating enough, and variety is important to your body. You can affect your metabolism through eating habits

Eat more negative calorie foods like fruits and vegetables. they'll keep your digestive system moving with fewer calories.
Drink lots of water, as you already should be doing, this way your body will be well hydrated, and you will less likely become lethargic.
If you're eating a few larger meals each day, try eating smaller bits of food more often, so if your eating 1 meal then make it two smaller one etc. Changing your caloric intake does not always mean decreasing! if your metabolism has slowed down, it may need some more calories to speed up a bit. Don't overdo this, just try to increase by 10%, and when you passed the plateau, you decrease 10%.
You can also try a spike, this is when you eat regular meals for one day (should equal roughly 1500 cals) to jump start your metabolism, then simply return to your regular eating habits the next day.
usually when you use a new shampoo, your hair will be so soft and shiny you'll keep using the shampoo...but after a few weeks it doesn't do anything special. same with exercising; your body will get the best out of a workout when it's being challenged. so the first time you run a mile you may feel exhausted, your muscles might be sore and all of that...but if you keep running one mile each day for a week or two, your body will build more muscle, use those same muscles over and over while neglecting others, and won't be as challenged. You should change either the length of time or intensity of your workout.

If you've been exercising for 20 minutes every day, try doing 20 minutes one day and then 40 minutes the next day, so you're getting a variety. Weight training increases metabolism significantly. muscle burns more calories during the day than fat, even if you're just sitting still. you don't have to become a body builder. a few minutes of push-ups and simple weight-lifting or calisthenic exercises will make a difference. Don't put all of your trust in this, but i'm pretty sure i read that 10 minutes of weight lifting 3 times a week will increase muscle and metabolism within the first week. thats only 30 minutes out of the 10,080 minutes you have every week. also try switching to different types of exercise every other day, for example, run on monday, swim on tuesday, weight lift on wednesday, run on thursday, yoga on friday, swim on saturday, bike/hike on sunday. effects won't occur immediately. Patience and slower weight loss is good according to doctors. But if you don't want to increase your calorie intake, then you simply must exercise more and also throughout the day, do a couple of jumping jacks it will give your metabolism kick or fidgit a lot, I believe that I read that fidgiting can burn up to 800 calories a day, which equals roughly over 1.5 lbs burned a week on top of your diet and exercise.

Fact & Tips

2008-03-24T02:24:00.000-07:00

Fact: You can only purge up to 80% of calories consumed. Tip: Avoid high caloric binges, instead eat things with a greater mass and less calories. Fruits and veggies are always a good choice. Fact: Carbohydrate digestion starts in your mouth. Our salivary glands secrete amylase, which is a digestive enzyme that begins the break down of carbs. Tip: Avoid eating carbohydrates at the beginning of the meal, because you'll absorb more calories. Save the carbs for desert. Fact: Fat is digested in the small intestines and therefore you feel fuller after eating a high-fat meal. Tip: Eat the fat first because it takes a long time to digest, therefore you'll absord less calories than eating carbs first. Beware, fat has twice as many kcals as carbs and proteins. Fact: Laxatives do not affect calorie absorbtion. Most food and calories are digested and absorbed in the small intestines and laxatives only affect the large intestines. Yes, you'll lose weight, but the weight lost is from water and fecal matter. Tip: Only use laxatives after a large meal that you did not purge afterwards, this way you'll see the real amount of weight gained instead of the fecal matter gained.

Activities calorie counter

2007-08-07T00:28:00.000-07:00

30 minutes of these activities for a 120 lb person, will burn:
Gym Activities
Aerobics, low impact: 158
Aerobics, high impact: 202
Aerobics, Step low impact: 202
Aerobics, Step high impact: 288
Aerobics, water: 115
Bicycling, Stationery, moderate: 202
Bicycling, Stationery, vigorous: 302
Calisthenics, vigorous: 230
Calisthenics, moderate: 130
Circuit Training, general: 230
Elliptical Trainer, general: 259
Riders: general (ie., HealthRider): 144
Rowing, Stationery, moderate: 202
Rowing, Stationery, vigorous: 245
Ski Machine general: 274
Stair Step Machine general: 173
Stretching, Hatha Yoga: 115
Teaching aerobics: 173
Weight Lifting: general 86
Weight Lifting: vigorous 173

Training and Sport ActivitiesArchery:
non-hunting 101
Badminton general: 130
Basketball playing a game: 230
Basketball wheelchair: 187
Billiards: 72
Bicycling BMX or mountain: 245
Bicycling 12-13.9 mph: 230
Bicycling 14-15.9 mph: 288
Bicycling 16-19 mph: 346
Bicycling > 20 mph: 475
Bowling: 86Boxing sparring: 259
Curling: 115Dancing Fast, ballet, twist: 173
Dancing disco, ballroom, square: 158
Dancing slow, waltz, foxtrot: 86
Fencing: 173Football competitive: 259
Football touch, flag, general: 230
Frisbee: 86Golf carrying clubs: 158
Golf using cart: 101
Gymnastics general: 115
Handball general: 346
Hang Gliding: 101
Hiking cross-country: 173
Hockey field & ice: 230
Horseback Riding: general 115
Ice Skating general: 202
Kayaking: 144
Martial Arts judo, karate, kickbox: 288
Orienteering: 259
Race Walking: 187
Racquetball competitive: 288
Racquetball casual, general: 202
Rock Climbing ascending: 317
Rock Climbing rapelling: 230
Rollerblade Skating: 202
Rope Jumping: 288
Running 5 mph (12 min/mile): 230
Running 5.2 mph (11.5 min/mile): 259
Running 6 mph (10 min/mile): 288
Running 6.7 mph (9 min/mile): 317
Running 7.5 mph (8 min/mile): 360
Running 8.6 mph (7 min/mile): 418
Running 10 mph (6 min/mile): 475
Running pushing wheelchair, marathon wheeling: 230
Running cross-country: 259
Scuba or skin diving: 202
Skateboarding: 144
Skiing: cross-country: 230
Skiing: downhill: 173
Sledding, luge, toboggan: 202
Snorkeling: 144Snow Shoeing: 230
Soccer general: 202Softball general play: 144
Swimming general: 173
Swimming laps, vigorous: 288
Swimming backstroke: 230
Swimming breaststroke: 288
Swimming butterfly: 317Swimming crawl: 317
Swimming treading, vigorous: 288
Tai Chi: 115
Tennis general: 202
Volleyball non-competitive,general play: 86
Volleyball competitive, gymnasium play: 115
Volleyball beach: 230
Walk 3.5 mph (17 min/mi): 115
Walk 4 mph (15 min/mi): 130
Walk 4.5 mph (13 min/mi): 144
Walk/Jog (jog 10 min): 173
Water Skiing: 173
Water Polo: 288
Water Volleyball: 86
Whitewater (rafting, kayaking): 144
Wrestling 173

Outdoor ActivitiesCarrying &
stacking wood: 144
Chopping & splitting wood: 173
Digging, spading dirt: 144
Gardening (general): 130
Gardening (weeding): 133
Laying sod / crushed rock:144
Mowing Lawn (push, hand): 158
Mowing Lawn (push, power): 130
Operate Snow Blower (walking): 130
Planting seedlings, shrubs: 115
Plant trees: 130
Raking Lawn: 115
Sacking grass or leaves: 115
Shoveling Snow (by hand): 173

Home and Daily Life Activities
Child-care (bathing, feeding, etc.): 101
Child games (hop-scotch, jacks,etc.): 144
Cooking: 72
Food Shopping (with cart): 101
Heavy Cleaning (wash car, windows): 130
Moving (household furniture): 173
Moving (carrying boxes): 202
Moving (unpacking): 101
Playing w/kids (moderate effort): 115
Playing w/kids (vigorous effort): 144
Reading: sitting: 32
Standing in line: 36
Sleeping: 18
Watching TV: 22
Home RepairAuto Repair: 86
Carpentry: (outside) 173
Carpentry: (refinish furniture) 130
Cleaning rain gutters: 144
Hanging storm windows: 144
Lay or remove carpet/tile: 130
Paint house: (outside) 144
Paint, paper, remodel: (inside) 130
Roofing: 173
Wiring and Plumbing: 86

Occupational Activities
Bartending/Server: 72
Carpentry Work: 101
Coaching Sports: 115
Coal Mining: 173
Computer Work: 40
Construction, general: 158
Desk Work: 50
Firefighting: 346
Forestry, general: 230
Heavy Equip. Operator: 72
Heavy Tools, not power: 230
Horse Grooming: 173
Light Office Work: 43
Masonry: 202
Masseur, standing: 115
Police Officer: 72
Sitting in Class: 50
Sitting in Meetings: 47
Steel Mill: (general) 230
Theater Work: 86
Truck Driving: sitting 58Welding: 86

Health risks

2007-07-25T01:08:00.000-07:00

Sure we all know this.. ED's are big health risks, and there is a real possibility of dying from ED. So far, it doesn't mather if you're Ana or Mia. But ED's can kill. Ana

Fatigue and lack of energy
Amenorrhea(loss of menstruation)
Skin problems
Dizziness and headaches
Dehydration
Shortness of breath
Irregular heartbeats
Cold hands and feet
Bloating
Constipation
Hair loss
Stomach pains
Decreased metabolic rate
Edema (water retention)
Lanugo(fine downy hair)
Loss of bone mass
Kidney and liver damage
Electrolyte imbalances
Osteoporosis
Insomnia
Anemias
Infertility
Depression
Cathartic colon(caused from laxative abuse)
Low potassium (most common cause of nocturnal cardiac arrest)
Cardiac arrest and death

Mia

Fatigue and lack of energy
Amenorrhea(loss of menstruation) and irregular menstruation
Dizziness
Headaches
Dehydration
Constipation and diarrhea
Shortness of breath
Irregular heartbeats
Depression
Tears of esophagus
Hair loss
Stomach pain and bloating
Erosion of teeth enamel
Chronic sore throat
Kidney and liver damage
Parotid gland enlargement
Electrolyte imbalances
Cathartic colon (caused from laxative abuse)
Edema (swelling of hands and feet)
Low blood pressure
Chest pains
Development of peptic ulcers and pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas)
Gastric dilation and rupture
Abrasions on back of hands and knuckles
Anemias
Cardiac arrest and death

Bracelet Project

2007-07-25T00:52:00.000-07:00

Die hard Ana's already know what this means.. off course! But, maybe some newbies don't, soo.... The bracelet project exists so other pro ed girls can recognize each other. Ana girls are wearing a red beaded bracelet around the left wrist. Mia girls are wearing a blue beaded bracelet around the right wrist. The bracelet has to be beaded, and in the right colour, those are the only things that mather. The size/length/shape of the beads can be all kinds. You can buy the bracelet, or you can make it yourself. A lot of girls are waiting to wear this bracelet until they think they're worth it...Don't do it! It's made to show you're an Ana girl, not to show you're underweight already. If we all wear our bracelets, we can recognize each other, and so we can help each other! So please, don't wait!

**Thinspiration - Gemma Ward

2007-07-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

Hiding your habits

2007-07-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

If you find you must go to a family or somewhat thing, get something reasonable like a muffin, and just carry it around with you.
Put dishes in the sink, leave evidence from what you've eaten
Don't forget to get rid of food you were supposed to eat
Put your diet pills in a vitamin bottle
Don't tell people you think you are fat
Invet some mysterious illness, wich will be a good excuse not to eat!

Don't raise suspicions, once people realize what you are doing, they'll watch and monitor you every minute. Start hiding your habits and practices from day one, so no one has ever seen any of it. When one thinks your anorexic, there is nothing you can say to convince them you're not.
Check the fridge when no one is around. Get some food, prepare it, and then trow it away. For example, some eggs.. get three eggs and some butter, bake the eggs, throw them on a plate with some bread, and then dispose them. Leave silverwhere too!
Don;t ever talk about food with other people, they'll think that your obsessed if you do this too much. And, talking about food may raise the question of you already ate. In case they do, have your excuses ready: 'My stomach is upset' ' I'm to exited/nervous/busy etc. to eat' 'I don't feel like....' 'I'm not hungry yet, I'll get something later'
Spend different meals with different groups of people, tell them all that you had a big meal earlier or will be eating something later on. Make sure the different people will not be comparing notes. Or plan your schedule so you're too busy at mealtimes to eat then.
Trash. Watch where you dispose of uneaten food or other "evidence", make sure that it isn't going to be seen or found by anyone. Wrap food up and throw it away outside the house. If you live alone, always take the trash out before anyone else comes over.
Buy food. People are fairly predictable. If they see you buy food and come home with food, then they just naturally assume that you eat it as well. Get things like crackers and cookies , keep them in your room, and carefully pack them out again later to throw away. Careful, this can be a little dangerous if you're prone to binging and have trouble keeping food around, or if you feel guilty about throwing food away. If the food's something you don't like and won't binge on this may be easier to do.
Don't get angry. Don't deny everything if confronted. People will believe a little truth with a big lie much easier than a huge lie. Act as if it's no big deal instead of reacting emotionally and people will tend to believe you.
Tell people you're on a diet, you became a vegetarian, your doctor has you eating only certain things, whatever. Often people will be very helpful in keeping you from eating if they think there's a socially acceptable reason for it.
Don't show off your weight loss until you've reached the weight you want to remain at. People will start to watch you more carefully and maybe ask questions, and you want to avoid calling attention to yourself.

Getting extra exercise

2007-07-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

Wear little weights everywhere . The more weight you carry, the more you burn!
Do not, under any circumstances set foot in an elevator!
Where ever you go, park in the furtest possible spot and walk
Don't site unless it's totally unreasonable not to
Wiggle around your feet, top your fingers, anything to keep moving and keep burning
If you van do something walking, then walk!
Do crunches while you watch tv.

Eating less

2007-07-23T09:55:00.000-07:00

Load yourself with water. Keep your stomach totally full of water at all times! There is less room for food... obviosly!
Become a vegetarian! Meat is fat and disgusting!
Fat free choclate milk is good for sweet cravings.
Set yourself some rules! If you're a true Ana, you won't have any problem following them. Ana girls are strong!!
Diet pills, they may be dangerous, but you're not dieting to be healthy. Being thin is more important than anything!
When you get the urge to snack, clean something, and use lots of chemicals. The smell wil curb your appetite
Chew sugar-free gum. It will make you more hungry at first, but later you'll get nauseas.
Don't ever eat out!
Don't eat anything you don't know the nutritional values of!
Tea helps to calm a hungry belly. It soothes and fills you up.
Chew your food untill it dissolves
Drink sparkling water or Crystal Clear, it fills you up more!

Tips&Trics general

2007-07-23T07:04:00.001-07:00

*Take vitamin B6 and B12 supplements, they speed up your metabolism like none other * Purge in the shower, or in the sink when your music is playing. * If your about to binge, chew some gum, and think of yourself what obese people look like * Drink a glass of water every hour * Eat one meal everyday, this will help to prevent binge cravings * Take caffeine tablets * Smoke when you feel hungry * If you are craving food, brush your teeth * Eat gum all day * Sleep at least six hours a night, less than 6 hours stimulates appetite by 15% * When you sit, move your foot or something, every cal counts! * Tell everyone you're allergic to some foods * Hit your stomach when it's grumbling * Never eat when people are around * Associate food with feeling sick * Never eat anything that doesn't have nutrition labels * Save one dollar for every meal you don't eat, then buy yourself a non food present * Take a bath * Always take your vitamins * Know when your trigger binge time is and avoid it * Drink water in stead of eating * Watch fat people eat, and see how disgusting they are * Listen loud music and sing/scream * Spinning yourself in circels decreases hunger

3 head rules

2007-07-23T06:55:00.000-07:00

7-7 rule Dinner must be eaten by 7.00 pm. After dinner no food is consumed until 7.00 am at the earliest. This is basically the same as a 12-hour fast, meaning, if you live by this rule for a year, you have fasted a half year! Mainly one should do this because your metabolism slows down at night, and if you consume food it will be harder to burn the calories. 3 hour eat/sleep 3 hours must pass between the last time you and and the time you go to bed. This ensures that you are actively burning calories while the food is initially digesting, versus, when you are sleeping, when metabolism slows and you burn fewer calories. Very important because you want to burn as many as you can! 2 times a day You must weigh yourself twice a day. Once at night before you go to sleep, and once after using the bathroom in the morning. This is more a self-esteem booster then anything else. You are always thinner in the morning.

Why I starve myself.

2007-07-23T06:50:00.001-07:00

Because I can
Because I'm the hunger artist
Because I want to
Because i van accomplish this, I can do anything!
Because off all the people in my life who die of jealousy when they see the way I look
Because it makes me feel brand new every day!
Because I just won't quit
Because I have wanted to be this way forever
Because I don't have any time to waste on food
Because I can do anything I put my mind to
Because I have the willpower
Because it's my life
Because it's my choice
Because of my next birthday
Because it's me. And though I don't advise it to anyone else; I'm too thin, and I don't eat enough, and that's me, and I love it!

5 week plan (To start off with Ana)

2007-07-23T06:41:00.001-07:00

Here's a diet plan for those who are still eating way to much! It's a 4week plan to decrease your calorie intake and increase your exercise untill you've reached Ana's standards.

Step 1: (One week)
* Decreae calorie intake to 1000 cals a day
* Read nutritioning labels
* 100 crunches a day
* 2 hours running a week

Step 2: (One week)
* Decrease calorie intake to 500 cals a day
* If eaten more -> Vomit!
* 200 crunches a day
* 30 minutes swimming/cycling/skating/dancing a day
* Take weight loss pills

Step 3: (One week)
* 500 calories a day
* Vomit after every meal!
* 250 crunches a day
* 2 hours running a week
* Take weight loss pills
* 1 hour swimming?cycling/skating/dancing a day

Step 4: (For ever)
* 500 calories a day
* Create control, cut yourself when you've eaten more
* 300 crunches a day
* 2 hours skating/swimming/dancing/cycling a week
* Take weight loss pills
* Take laxatives
* Vomit after everything you ate!!

Distractions

2007-07-23T06:34:00.000-07:00

* Go on a walk
* Search for health/nutrition info on the net
* Turn up the music and dance
* Clean your house until everything looks untouched
* Read a book or magazine
* Find out about finances and investing
* Find out enough about a national issue to form a strong opinion
* Do that that you were meaning to do for so long
* Rent and follow a yoga or pilates video
* Express yourself creatively
* Wander and browse trough the library
* Read about the toxins and food that build up in the digestive system
* Start writing in a journal about things besides calories
* Make your own, original, unique website
* Have a movie fest
* Volunteer somewhere
* Get a job
* Master your self description
* Play with your pet, they'll love you!
* Call your grandparents
* Go to howstuffworks.com and find out!
* Exfoliate your entire body
* Think about your life goals and how you'll reach them
* Make someone a bracelet or neckless
* Read the newspaper, every word of it!
* Stop procrastinating
* Do some extra credit

70 reasons NOT to eat!

2007-07-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

Ana sounds so much better than FATSO
You'll be perfect
You'll be FAT if you eat today!
Starving is control, we like control!
You'll look prettier
Guys want you!
You don't NEED food
Starving is an excellent example of will power
People will see your beautiful bones
People will remember you as the beautiful girl
Only thin people are graceful
You'll be able to run faster
You'll have both inner&outer beauty
People who eat are selfish and unrealistic
FAT people can't fit everywhere
If you eat you'll look like those disgusting, fat, trash hookers
FAT people are so huge, yet people look away as if they don't exist
Bones are clean and pure
FAT is dirty, hangs on you as a parasite
Thin people look good in ALL clothes
Fat people die earlier
Ballerina or beanbag?
Starving Anorexic girl, or Ugly mingling FAT girl?
A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips
People will congratulate you on how much you've lost
You'll use less soap in the shower, and save money
People won't think 'what a fat cow' when they see you
Skinny people get better jobs
Fat people don't get leads in plays
Starving works, diets don't!
Food makes you fat
Fatso's can't be loved
People LOVE Ana's!
You'll feel more energetic
You'll save money on grocery bills
Think as Anorexia as your secret wapen
When your fat, it's like your invisible
You'll look perfect on the outside
You'll feel more confident and happy
Thin is in
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels
You'll be free without the fat
Everybody else will be envious
Perfect body = perfect soul
Have you ever seen anyone not noticing a thin girl?
You'll be able to wear mini skirts, without blurry legs
Friends will envy your body, and admire you
Do you want to be the fattest person in town?
Do you want to be Morbid Obese?
You'll fit in all pretty clothes!
Models are Anorexic too!
You die beautiful
Fat is a lazy person, Ana is control!
You'll look good on pictures!
You don't deserve food!
You'll be able to be proud wearing a bikini!
Fat people are ugly!
Calories make you fat, food contains calories
You'll save time by not eating
The word FAT will only be used in a sarcastic way
Fatso's are sooo disgusting!
Fatso's are lonely because people don't want to look at them
Is food more important than happiness?
Food is mean and sneaky, every bite makes you FAT, UGLY, BLOATED, and UNHAPPY!
You'll look like your favorite model!
Fat drags you down
Cell-U-Lite? Or perfection?
People will be able to lift you up
You'll be pure, holy and clean!
Do you want your skin to look like it's going to burst because of all the fat?

Ana's Creed

2007-07-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

Ana's creed I believe in control, the only force mighty enough to bring onrder in the chaos that is my world.

I believe that I am the most vile, worthless an useless person ever have to existed on this planet, and that I am totally onworthy of anyone's time and attention.

I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds, as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behaviour.

I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.

I believe in salvation trough starvation.

I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of god, and memorise then accordingly.

I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily succeses and failures.

I believe in hell, cause sometimes I think I live in it.

I believe in a wholly black an withe world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, the alonegation of the body and a life ever fasting.

Ana's laws

2007-07-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

Thin is beauty; therefore I must be thin, and remain thin, If I wish to be loved. Food is my ultimate enemy. I may look, and I may smell, but I may not touch!

I must think about food every second of every minute of every hour of every day... and ways to avoid eating it.

I must weigh myself, first thing, every morning, and keep that number in mind throughout the remainder of that day. Should that number be greater than it was the day before, I must fast that entire day.

I shall not be tempted by the enemy (food), and I shall not give into temptation should it arise. Should I be in such a weakened state and I should cave, I will feel guilty and punish myself accordingly, for I have failed her.

I will be thin, at all costs. It is the most important thing; nothing else matters.

I will devote myself to Ana. She will be with me where ever I go, keeping me in line. No one else matters; she is the only one who cares about me and who understands me. I will honor Her and make Her proud

Ana's Psalm

2007-07-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Strict is my diet
I must nog want
It maketh me lie down at night hungry
It leadeth me past the confectioners
It trieth my will power
It leadeth me in the paths of alternation for my figure sake
Yeah, though I walk trough the aisles of the pastry department, I will buy no sweet rolls for they are fattening
The cakes and the pies, they tempt me
Before me is a table set with green beens and lettuce
I filleth my stomach with liquids
My day's quota runneth over
Surely calorie and weight charts will follow me, all days of my life
And I will dwell in the fear of the scales forever

Letter from Mia

2007-07-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Partner,

How are you? I thought I'd take a few minutes to introduce myself. I'm known by some as bulimia nervosa, but seeing how we'll become so close, you can just call me Mia. That's what my best friends call me. My loyal friends. Over time, you will become my loyal friend too. Sometimes you might feel more of a servant, but then you will think of all I do for you and remember that I am your only true friend. You know how everyone around you, all those girls, seem like they have it so easy, I hate that! And I hate for you to feel less, which is why from now on, I will provide you with encouragement, and inspiration to achieve what you thought you never could. Prove all the nasty comments wrong. Also, I cannot spend my life with someone not worthy...so you will have to prove yourself to me. I'll try to hang out with you as much as possible, but nobody will know. Only you will know when I'm around. You will know when you eat something, you will know when you see that chocolate cake on the counter, because I will in the back of your mind telling you things. Sometimes I will tell you not to eat it, and you will listen. Other times, you will disobey me and devour the entire cake. Then I will really make you feel guilty. You should have followed my orders! Now go and throw that cake up you FAT COW! How could you do that to yourself? You will take my comments to heart, and go into the bathroom, turn on the faucet, and force yourself to vomit. You will spend hours vomiting at times. Your face will be red, snot will pour, your eyes will be bloodshot, you jaw will hurt of swollen glands...serves you right! If you want to be my friend and get the full effect of what I can give you, you must follow my orders. You will soon learn that I am in control. Even when you don't do as I say, you can still hear me, screaming at you, telling you to work harder, telling you to take diet pills, telling you how fat you are, telling you what those people across the room are really whispering about. I am sure after a while of this, you will grow to hate me, but you will love me even more. You will love me so much you won't tell anyone about me. If you do, I risk being destroyed, and you don't want that do you? You will have invested so much of your time in me, that you will no longer have anyone else. You have no choice, me or complete solitude. If I'm gone, fat and cellulite will take my place. Which would you rather have? So you must not tell anyone about me. Even if you did, some people would likey not believe you and worse, think you are out for the attention. So hold your head high and look confident. With my help, you can look just as great as your favorite models and actresses. You can look better. I have to go now, but think of me often. Think of me all the time! I am the only one who TRULY wants you to feel loved. Remember that.

Sincerely,

Mia

Letter from/to Ana

2007-07-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

Letter from Ana Allow me to introduce myself. My name, or as I am called by so called "doctors", is Anorexia. Anorexia Nervosa is my full name, but you may call me Ana. Hopefully we can become great partners. In the coming time, I will invest a lot of time in you, and I expect the same from you.
In the past you have heard all of your teachers and parents talk about you. You are "so mature", "intelligent", "14 going on 45", and you possess "so much potential". Where has that gotten you, may I ask? Absolutely no where! You are not perfect, you do not try hard enough, further more you waste your time on thinking and talking with friends and drawing! Such acts of indulgence shall not be allowed in the future.
Your friends do not understand you. They are not truthful. In the past, when the insecurity has quietly gnawed away at your mind, and you asked them, "Do I look....fat?" and they answered "Oh no, of course not" you knew they were lying! Only I tell the truth. Your parents, let's not even go there! You know that they love you, and care for you, but part of that is just that they are your parents and are obligated to do so. I shall tell you a secret now: deep down inside themselves, they are disappointed with you. Their daughter, the one with so much potential, has turned into a fat, lazy, and undeserving girl.
But I am about to change all that.
I expect a lot from you. You are not allowed to eat much. It will start slowly:
decreasing of fat intake, reading the nutrition labels, cutting out junk food, fried food, etc. For a while, the exercise will be simple: some running, perhaps some crunches and some situps. Nothing too serious. Perhaps drop a few pounds, take a little off of that fat tub of a stomach. But it won't be long before I tell you that it isn't good enough.
I will expect you to drop your calorie intake and up your exercise. I will push you to the limit. You must take it because you cannot defy me! I am beginning to imbed myself into you. Pretty soon, I am with you always. I am there when you wake up in the morning and run to the scale. The numbers become both friend and enemy, and the frenzied thoughts pray for them to be lower than yesterday, last night, etc. You look into the mirror with dismay. You prod and poke at the fat that is there, and smile when you come across bone. I am there when you figure out the plan for the day: 400 calories, 2 hours exercise. I am the one figuring this out, because by now my thoughts and your thoughts are blurred together as one.
I follow you throughout the day. In school, when your mind wanders I give you something to think about. Recount the calories for the day. It's too much. I fill your mind with thoughts of food, weight, calories, and things that are safe to think about. Because now, I am already inside of you. I am in your head, your heart, and your soul. The hunger pains you pretend not to feel is me, inside of you.
Pretty soon I am telling you not only what to do with food, but what to do ALL of the time. Smile and nod. Present yourself well. Suck in that fat stomach, dammit! God, you are such a fat cow!!!! When mealtimes come around I tell you what to do. I make a plate of lettuce seem like a feast fit for a king. Push the food around. Make it look like you've eaten something. No piece of anything...if you eat, all the control will be broken...do you WANT that?? To revert back to the fat COW you once were?? I force you to stare at magazine models. Those perfect skinned, white teethed, waifish models of perfection staring out at you from those glossy pages. I make you realize that you could never be them. You will always be fat and never will you be as beautiful as they are. When you look in the mirror, I will distort the image. I will show you obesity and hideousness. I will show you a sumo wrestler where in reality there is a starving child. But you must not know this, because if you knew the truth, you might start to eat again and our relationship would come crashing down.
Sometimes you will rebel. Hopefully not often though. You will recognize the small rebellious fiber left in your body and will venture down to the dark kitchen. The cupboard door will slowly open, creaking softly. Your eyes will move over the food that I have kept at a safe distance from you. You will find your hands reaching out, lethargically, like a nightmare, through the darkness to the box of crackers. You shove them in, mechanically, not really tasting but simply relishing in the fact that you are going against me. You reach for another box, then another, then another. Your stomach will become bloated and grotesque, but you will not stop yet. And all the time I am screaming at you to stop, you fat cow, you really have no self control, you are going to get fat.
When it is over you will cling to me again, ask me for advice because you really do not want to get fat. You broke a cardinal rule and ate, and now you want me back. I'll force you into the bathroom, onto your knees, staring into the void of the toilet bowl. Your fingers will be inserted into your throat, and, not without a great deal of pain, your food binge will come up. Over and over this is to be repeated, until you spit up blood and water and you know it is all gone. When you stand up, you will feel dizzy. Don't pass out. Stand up right now. You fat cow you deserve to be in pain!
Maybe the choice of getting rid of the guilt is different. Maybe I chose to make you take laxatives, where you sit on the toilet until the wee hours of the morning, feeling your insides cringe. Or perhaps I just make you hurt yourself, bang your head into the wall until you receive a throbbing headache. Cutting is also effective. I want you to see your blood, to see it fall down your arm, and in that split second you will realize you deserve whatever pain I give you. You are depressed, obsessed, in pain, hurting, reaching out but no one will listen? Who cares?!?!! You are deserving; you brought this upon yourself.
Oh, is this harsh? Do you not want this to happen to you? Am I unfair? I do do things that will help you. I make it possible for you to stop thinking of emotions that cause you stress. Thoughts of anger, sadness, desperation, and lonliness can cease because I take them away and fill your head with the methodic calorie counting. I take away your struggle to fit in with kids your age, the struggle of trying to please everyone as well. Because now, I am your only friend, and I am the only one you need to please.
I have a weak spot. But we must not tell anyone. If you decide to fight back, to reach out to someone and tell them about how I make you live, all hell will break lose. No one must find out, no one can crack this shell that I have covered you with. I have createdyou, this thin, perfect, achieving child. You are mine and mine alone. Without me, you are nothing. So do not fight back. When others comment, ignore them. Take it into stride, forget about them, forget about everyone that tries to take me away. I am your greatest asset, and I intend to keep it that way. Sincerely, Ana

Letter to Ana
Dear Ana,

I offer you my soul, my heart and my bodily functions. I give you all my earthly possessions.

I seek your wisdom, your faith and your feather weight. I pledge to obtain the ability to float, to lower my weight to the single digits, I pledge to stare into space, to fear food, and to see obese images in the mirror. I will worship you and pledge to be a faithful servant until death does us part.

If I cheat on you and procreate with Ronald McDonald, Dave Thomas, the colonel or that cute little dog. I will kneel over my toilet and thrust my fingers deep in my throat and pray for your forgiveness.

Please Ana, don't give up on me. I'm so weak, I know, but only you with your strength inside me will I become a woman worthy of love and respect. I'm begging for you not to give up, I'm pleading with my shallow breathes and my pale skin. I bleed for you, suffer leg pains, headaches and fainting spells. My love for you makes me dizzy and confused I don't know whether I'm coming or going. Men run when they see the love I have for you and never return. But they aren't important to me all thats important is that you love me.

If you stay with me, I will worship you daily, I will run miles a day, come rain, snow, bitter cold or searing heat I will run from the pain and in fright. I will do 1,000 sit ups a day and lie to my family about what I eat and how I feel. I will stop weeping when I feel your warm arms embrace my shivering body. I will numb the hunger pains with razor blades and your strength.

Today, I renew our friendship and resolve to be faithful to you year long, life long. I begin each year with a 3 day fast in honor of you. If you give me the strength to fade away I will love you and worship you forever.

When I'm finally faded to nothing, when you've given me the gift of ending this torturous life. I will float on to the next world and be thin and beautiful payment for my undying love for you in this world.

I ask only one more thing you, please Ana, remove me from this hell, from this world ASAP. Please take away this hatred for my pain and allow me to be free and light.

Love Always, Worthless One

**Thinspiration - Kate Moss

2007-07-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

Anti Binge!

2007-07-12T03:31:00.000-07:00

Cleaning

Go trough old stuff, throw away everything you never wear/use.
Mop/dust/vacuum/scrub anything, change bedsheets anything. The harder you work, the more cals you'll burn! Hobby's
Practice or learn to play a music instrument
Go shopping, you'll burn cals walking
Go out for a drink
Go trough old photo albums
Make jewellry
Read a book!
Have a beauty day! Beautyday
Have an extra shower
Take a very long bath
Give yourself a mani/pedicure
Brush your teeth
Eat chewing gum/ drink water
Detox!
Put on very beautiful make-up Thinspiration
Post on an Ana form
Write your thoughts in your journal
Watch MTV, let's get inspired by all those skinny's!
Make an ana video/poster/collage/drawing/poem/story/website.. anything!
Think of all the things you'd like to eat, and think of how many calories that are... and how many lbs!

Ana Quotes

2007-07-12T03:18:00.000-07:00

Giving in to food shows weakness, be strong, and you'll be better than everyone else
Do not give up what you most want for what you want at the moment
An imperfect body reflects an imperfect soul
Craving is only a feeling
An ordinairy girl, an ordinairy waist, but ordinairdy is just not good enough today
If it ws easy, everybody will be thin
If it tastes good, it's trying to kill you
Calories CAN NOT make you happy
Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better
The beginning is always today
It doesn't mather how slow you go, as long as you don't stop
It's the mind that makes the body
Everytime you say no to food, you say yes to thin
Eat to live, don't live to eat
When you resist the pain of hunger, it means your not a slave of your body
Don't eat! Do you want to stay fat?
Being thin is more important than everything!
You want food? Loook at those thighs!
Bones define who we really are! Let them show!
Do you really want to be that weight for the rest of your life?
Eat less, weigh less
Thin is beautiful, even thinner is perfection
Anorexia is a lifestyle, not a diet
I only feel beautiful when I'm hungry
Skip dinner, end up thinner
Respect yourself, put down the fork
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels
Thin is perfectin, I'll die trying to achieve it
Your mind should always be on your diet!

Ways to hide ED

2007-07-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

@ The Doctor:
- Drink a lot of water (You'll weigh more!)
- Dress warmly, you're temperature will be somewhat normal
- Make sure SI wounds are healed before seeing the doctor

@ Home & Friends
- Wake up late, so you don't have enough time to eat at home
- Convince yourself (and others!) that your allergic to things
- Say your ill
- Say you've already ate
- Go to bed early, you can't eat when you're asleep
- Say you'll eat somewhere else
- Say your on a medication which screws up your appetite
- Leave a plate with breadcrumbs in the kitchen
- Take some cookies, or chips up to your room, and trow it away, then leave the empty packages in a place where parent will notice them
- When you're at a party or something, just find something like a muffin or a piece of pie you can carry around, throw away some bites, and eventually, hide the whole thing
- Don't forget to get rid of food you where supposed to eat, get rid of all the evidence!
- Put your diet pill in a vitamin bottle
- Don't tell anyone you think you're fat!
- Don't tell anyone you're on a diet!
- Tell people you are sooo hungry for a hamburger or something, then disappear, and when you return, tell them it was delicious!
- Invent some mysterious illness, which will be a good excuse not to eat
- Pretend to be in love (takes away you're appetite!)

@ Excuses:
- I'm not hungry
- I already ate
- I feel sick
- I will eat later
- I'm allergic
- I don't have any money (and forgot my bread, and yeah, I'm allergic to everything, so I can't eat yours!)
- I'm a veggie/vegan
- I don't like...
- I have to go somewhere
- Just say no
- It's almost dinner time, and my mom cooked a 3 course dinner

ED Information

2007-07-11T02:54:00.000-07:00

Anorexia (Ana)
Bulimia (Mia)
Compulsive OverExercising (COE)
Binge Eating Disorder (BED)
ED-NOS
Pica
Prader-Willi Syndrome
Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)
Orthorexia
Bigorexia

Anorexia (Ana)
Anorexia is characterized by a refusal to maintain a normal body weight. There are two types of Anorexia; Restricting and Purging.
Restricting:
The person does not eat, or eats very less. The person does not binge or purge in the episode.
Purging:
The person does not eat, or very less, but finds herself to be in a binge, and compensates by purging (vomiting, laxatives, diuretics)

Bulimia (Mia)
Bulimia is characterized by periods of binge eating, followed by inappropriate ways to loose the food, like vomiting, laxatives, diuretics.
There are two types of Bulimia: Purging and Non Purging
Purging:
During the period of Bulimia, the person has regularly engaged self inducted vomiting, used laxatives, diuretics.
Non purging:
During current episode of Bulimia Nervosa, the person has used other inappropriate compensatory behaviors, such as fasting or excessive exercise, but has not regularly engaged in self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas.

Compulsive Overexercise or Anorexia
Persons who have episodes of repeatedly exercising beyond the requirements of what is considered safe, and will find time at any cost to do the exercise (including cutting school, taking off from work, hiding in the bathroom and exercising, etc.). The main goal of the exercise can be burning calories and "relieving the guilt" from just having eaten or binged, or to give us "permission" to eat.

Binge Eating Disorder (BED)
Binge eating disorder (BED) is the newest clinically recognized eating disorder. BED is primarily identified by repeated episodes of uncontrolled eating. The overeating or binging does not typically stop until the person is uncomfortably full. Unlike anorexia nervosa and bulimia however, BED is not associated with inappropriate behaviors such as vomiting or excessive exercise to rid the body of extra food. The illness usually begins in late adolescence or in the early 20s, often coming soon after significant weight loss from dieting.

ED- NOS
When you don't really fit in the DSM criteria of Anorexia, Bulimia, BED, or COE, but you do have an eating disorder you may get diagnosed ED-NOS.
In real life this can be like this:
- You fit all the criteria of anorexia, but you're not underweight (yet).
- You fit the criteria of anorexia for two months, and then switch over to bulimia for two months, to switch back to anorexia.
- When you don't fit one or two criteria, but there's obviously and eating disorder.

Pica
Pica is defined as a non-stop compulsive caring to eat non eatable things like cotton, paper, dirt, glass, ice...
It's used to fill the stomach, so you won't get hungry.
This is very dangerous, eating glass for example, speaks for itself.
Cotton, paper and stuff can not be digested, and will ruin your body!

Prader-Willi syndrome
Prader-Willi Syndrome is a congenital condition (present at birth) and is believed to be caused by an abnormality in the genes that occurs (though statistically it does not seem to run in families). Children born with Prader-Willi Syndrome may have early feeding difficulties that lead to tube feeding, and often have a degree of behavioral and/or mental problems (some severe).
Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)
BDD, or Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a preoccupation or obsession with a defect in visual appearance, whether that be an actual slight imperfection or an imagined one. Some example of this would be obsessing to the point of severe depression (sometimes including thoughts about or attempts at suicide) over physical attributes such as freckles, a large nose, blotchy skin, wrinkles, acne, scarring. Though the preoccupation can include any part of the body; areas of the face and head, specifically the skin, hair and nose, are most common.

Orthorexia Nervosa Orthorexia Nervosa is an obsession with a "pure" diet, where it interferes with a person's life. It becomes a way of life filled with chronic concern for the quality of food being consumed. When the person suffering with Orthorexia Nervosa slips up from wavering from their "perfect" diet, they may resort to extreme acts of further self-disipline including even strictor regimens and fasting.

Bigorexia
Found typically in body-building circles and known as muscle dysmorphia or reverse Anorexia, Bigorexia is a condition in which the sufferer is constantly worried that they are too small. This goes beyond the typical body-building gym-goer, and transcends into dangerous realms when men and women are willing to go to all lengths to increase muscle mass. Dr. Harrison Pope, of the McLean Hospital, says, "there's nothing inherently pathological about being an avid gym-goer, but it shouldn't take over your life." In likening Bigorexia to Anorexia he comments, "They are both disorders of body image, the preoccupations simply go in opposite directions."

07/10/07

2007-07-10T01:45:00.000-07:00

I'm fat today. Really,I'm so fucking fat today!It doesn't make sense, I didn't gain any, and I didn't loose any.But I'm fat.So, that's a perfectly good reason not to eat today! I'm gonna go to the gym in an hour or so, when i got dressed *still in pyjama's!* And after that, I'm gonna but caffeine pills.

They say caffeine speeds up your metabolism, so we'll see :D I just hope I can loose about 5lb this week. My mom is freaking me out, she's on top of everything I (don't) eat, and she thinks I'm vomitting everything i eat...Rigt, I do vomit everything I eat, but that's not for her to know! Anyway, I'm gonna get dressed now, and then on my way to the gym..Burn cals Burn!!! Muhahaha!

About vomitting

2007-07-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

If you really want to loose weight, you should vomit about everyting you ate. It's not really healthy, and has a lot of down sides, but it really works. So, here's everything about vomitting;

- How to vomit - How to make vomitting easier
- Pro's and cons

How to vomit You've probably seen it before in movies, just put your fingers down your troath. Unfortunatly, they make it look so eay! Well... it's not. Not in the beginning anyway.
When you put your fingers doww your troath, you should use two fingers, and push them as far as you can. Then just move them around a little. It may take long in the beginning, but at one moment your food will come out. Just repeat untill everything is out.
After a while it will get easier, some people don't even have to use their fingers anymore, they just do it :).
And if it's hard, or it won't work, use these tips. Don't think you can't vomit, everyone can, that's how our body is made. You'll just have to keep trying.

How to make vomitting easier 1) Drink some warm water
2) Drink a glass of warm milk
3) Drink a glass of water and saline
4) Drink milk with orange juice
5)Try using a toothbrush instead of your fingers
6) Chew some aspirine (tastes so disgusting!)
7) Put on loud music, or vomit under the shower, that way no one will hear you.

8)Don't brush your teeth right after!! Wait 15 minutes, instead, rinse your mouth with water.

9)When you see blood, pay attention of how it looks: If it's not much, and it's clear, there is noting wrong, then your nails made a little cut in you're troath. If it's much, and dark/ almost brown, go to a dokter! Then there's something seriously wrong in your stomach!!

Pro's and cons

Pro's
By vomitting you make sure you'll loose calories, you won't loose all of them, there is always 1/3 of food left in your stomach. But, it's better than exercising, or taking laxatives. By taking laxatives, you'll only loose fluids, the calories are already admitted to your body, and by exercising alone, you will never burn enough. The best way is to combine vomitting, exercising and laxatives.

Cons

By vomitting you'll loose a lot of important minerals. This leads to innocent things like hairloss, being cold all the time... all stuff you'll get by being underweight anyway. More important; losing to much minerals can cause heartfailure. So be carefull, if you think you're calium is to low, go to a docter, and to something about it!

Ana Avatars

2007-07-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

07/09/07

2007-07-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

‘I really want to help you.’ That’s what she said, my shrink. ‘But at this point, I don’t think I can. The way I see it, there are two options. One; You’ll get some common sense, or Two; Things will get so far out of hand that you’ll get hospitalized, or die.’ Outch… that hurts! It hurts mostly because she’s right. I know... I should have never started losing weight again. At first, my intention was to loose 4 lbs, in a healthy way. I forgot the healthy stuff right before breakfast. I searched for something to eat, but all I saw was fat, carbs, and cals. So I didn’t have breakfast. I didn’t have lunch. I only had dinner. The next day I decided not to eat anything, and I did. I felt so great!And when I stood on the scale, I saw the results. So I went on. 4 lbs wasn’t enough. I had to loose 6, and 6 became 8, and 8 became 10. And now, I loss 25 lbs. Not that it’s dramatic, I’m not extremely thin if you think so! I’m still fat, just a few lbs lighter. I started at 170 lbs, and now, I’m down to 145. But that’s not all. I’m going down to 100, and eventually to 75. My BMI will be 11, and life will be perfect. I’m noticing already, people are talking to me, they like me, and guys are flirting with me. They never did that when I weighed 170… never! They hated me, the only form of attention they gave me, was when they told me I was fat. And well… they don’t do that anymore! They like me, and when I reached my goal, and weigh 75lbs, they’ll like me even more. And then life will be perfect!I just can’t wait to see my bones stick out, to see my hipbones, my ribs. I can see them already, but it’s not good enough yet. And there are more bones to see. I want to see them all! And yeah, maybe, when I’m at my goal weight, I’ll get hospitalized, maybe I’ll even die. But when I do, I’ll know that I have lived. Cause life can never be so perfect when you’re fat. Pro-Ana life is the lifestyle everyone should have. It’s a pity that most people aren’t strong enough for it.

Oh yeah, this was offcourse my last shrink appointment... minding there is nothing she can help me with.